Well here is your daily dose of ironic humor. Onion quality satire by Java programmers for Java programmers. Personally, I never liked "static" either ;)
Stevey's Blog Rants: Wikileaks To Leak 5000 Open Source Java Projects With All That Private/Final Bullshit Removed
EYJAFJÖLL, ICELAND — Java programmers around the globe are in a panic today over a Wikileaks press release issued at 8:15am GMT. Wikileaks announced that they will re-release the source code for thousands of Open Source Java projects, making all access modifiers 'public' and all classes and members non-'final'.